Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
