rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
