and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
