i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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