I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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