Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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