i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize