Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
