dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
