i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
its not stalking. its research.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Randomize
