Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
there was a trapeze. enough said
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
