I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
