Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Randomize
