Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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