i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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