sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Randomize