Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
You can't just leave with hair like that
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
