No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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