you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
