Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Hippo gnu deer
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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