Define "chronic" masturbator.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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