More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
