he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
