I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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