The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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