i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
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