she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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