I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Randomize
