i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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