What did we do last night that was yellow?
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i just google imaged poop.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I can feel your judgement through the phone
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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