I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
