did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I just pynch a tree in the face
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize