question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
he just fucked me for my cheese..
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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