god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
they're like a gay fantastic four
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
