either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
