hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
