dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I just pynch a tree in the face
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
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