Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
