i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Why did my mother make you get naked?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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