I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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