I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
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