who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
vagina is talking i cant
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
