Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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