Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
How naked do you want me to be?
try to milk me bitch
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
