so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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