She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
