i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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