physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
