I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
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