the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
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I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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