i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
