theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
