It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
